xXautumnwalkerXx: i dunno what is going on with me
xXP: whats wrong
xXautumnwalkerXx: for the past three weeks... i've been feeling disconnected from nathan... like I don't even care to see him or talk to him on the phone...
xXautumnwalkerXx: it's been constant
xXautumnwalkerXx: and it got worse... i can't even really stand to kiss him or be near him... he grates on my nerves.
xXP: strange
xXP: have you been spending TOO much time with him
xXautumnwalkerXx: I used to freak out when he wouldn't come see me, now I don't care... I don't know if it's because my schedule is so full that when i have free time i want it to be for ME and sydney... or if I'm just done with our relationship
xXP: I dont know what to say hun... have you tried talking to him at all?
xXautumnwalkerXx: no.. he'll flip out
xXautumnwalkerXx: like he came over tonight...
xXautumnwalkerXx: and i didn't even care for him to stay, but I let him... and the when I drove him home, (his uncle dropped him off on the way home from the casino) I didn't talk to him the entire time...
xXautumnwalkerXx: I feel like he's not even important to me anymore... I don't care... and I know our relationship is never going to be more than it is... what is the point? At this point, I don't even want to be anymore than it is, hell, I don't want it as it is right now!!!!
xXP: Maybe your just around too many people all day... at school then work and practicum you may just be going through a me me me phase and thats not a bad thing
xXautumnwalkerXx: Even if he asked me to marry him right now, I think i would say NO!
xXP: Is it just him that is making you feel this way or do you get weird around you grandparents too?
xXautumnwalkerXx: No. I'm in a pretty shitty mood though... not at a lot of people... but I dunno...
xXP: Are you ready for it to be over... I mean when you think about it does it seem ok...
xXautumnwalkerXx: let me think... nathan fucking another girl...
xXautumnwalkerXx: there's a little twinge there... but nothing else.... not like it should be.
xXautumnwalkerXx: i just want it to be me and sydney... it's not important for me to have a "man" anymore.... what good is he doing anyways?
xXautumnwalkerXx: I don't know andrea.. maybe it's just a phase thing...
xXautumnwalkerXx: i get like this sometimes... it just usually doesn't last more than a week...
xXautumnwalkerXx: like last weekend in chicago...
xXautumnwalkerXx: i could have gone with out us having sex... didn't bother me.... bothered me when he wanted too.. that's not like me
xXP: tell him your really tired from all of your work and all you want to do for the next week is go home play with sydney and sleep in your room away from all social contact including him and see how you feel after a week
xXautumnwalkerXx: but that's what i do
xXautumnwalkerXx: i don't go over there...
xXautumnwalkerXx: i did last night, but only because sydney wanted to and he was nagging me
xXautumnwalkerXx: I don't want to say anything until i know this is n't just a "erika bitch fest week"
xXautumnwalkerXx: ya know?
xXautumnwalkerXx: but thanks for listening.. and giving feedback
xXP: yeah I get what your saying
xXP Id ride it out for a week or so

Hearing:
Feeling: shitty
Stressing: bitching and complaining

past | present

Moving On.... Again! - 12.01.04

2004 Review - 12.28.05

Happy December Everyone - 12.01.04

PS Cunt Teacher - 11.29.04

Fucking Bitch Teacher - 11.29.04